Day+78 “No Clinic Visit!”

Today marks the first day that I have not had a clinic visit during a week in a long time. It was nice in the sense that I didn’t have to get up early. I really struggle getting up most mornings (I have never been much of a morning person but now it is definitely much more difficult.) We definitely didn’t miss the long drive into Dallas. And yet strangely, I felt some what anxious not having a weekly exam and lab reports that tell me that I really am doing well even at times when I struggle with intense periods of fatigue that knock me on my tail. But the good news is that I really do feel better. Better than I felt at diagnosis and through induction. Improving everyday. Now for even better news!

I am scheduled to have my Neostar removed this coming Tuesday, March 4th. Exactly three months after having it put it. Wow! The Neostar has been invaluable during the time of treatment (chemotherapy, transplant and recovery). It has saved me from countless needle sticks, made it possible to receive medications, blood products and fluids all at the same time and provided a sterile environment for these procedures. But now it’s time to part with it. I am no way saddened by this (who would miss a catheter with three large ports protruding from their chest) but it definitely is a huge milestone. The procedure to remove it is much simpler than inserting it. But it does require a large needle and an injection of Lidocaine. In most procedures, it’s the Lidocaine shot that is the worst part! Considering everything I have endured the past five months Tuesday should be a breeze.

I’ll be seeing Dr.V. after the Neostar is removed. At her office I will have my blood draw the old fashion way! I have never had great veins for needle sticks (a family trait-the veins like to move and roll) and usually take two sticks to get blood. Again, I think I can handle traditional blood draws.

This is also the first week that I am on my own “officially.” Todd’s mom, Artie, returned to San Antonio this past Saturday. Boy, did I cry to Todd at night how worried I was to be on my own. Todd, my positive support, reassured me that I would get the help I needed and not to worry. Artie has been such a tremendous help over the course of these past five months. I kept telling her she had to stay until my hair was an inch long! We laughed and I gave her a hug. I really hope she knows how much we appreciate everything she has done. She’ll be back over Spring Break when the rest of the Flynn’s will be visiting us. We are really looking forward to seeing every one again.

So, how did my first week go with out Artie around? Well, I’ve managed and survived but only because some excellent friends of mine made it easier for me. I hadn’t realized myself exactly what my limitations were. And I am so grateful for friends that did recognize them and for a husband that did his best to be home by 5. It’s all “baby steps” for me and to know when to ask for help when I need it. Sometimes I feel frustrated not just jumping back into all of my life. Then I begin to understand that it’s not like going back to “normal” but that it will be a “new normal.” I haven’t quite figured out what that will be or even how long it will take to get there. But I do know that I am not alone in figuring it out. Again, THANK YOU to my family, friends, neighbors and new friends for supporting me through this time.