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taken 8/4/07

Courtney and her kids

Courtney and her kids
taken 8/4/07

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

‘Believe’ from my nurse Julie

During induction therapy, in one on my hardest hours, I deeply struggled with side effects of the chemotherapy, with pain and discomfort. I had received any and all medications possible and needed to wait almost an hour before any new drugs could be tried. My night nurse, Julie, came and she stayed with me. An oncology nurse who I knew had a lot to do and had a lot of other patients. But she came to me and stayed.

I was sitting up in bed, unable to find comfort from the pain radiating throughout my body. I was completely exhausted, just crying, when she squatted down in front of me and took my hand. All I could see of her face were her eyes because she was wearing a mask. She locked her eyes with mine and told me that I could do it. She told me that she knew I was strong enough and that I could make it through this moment. She sat there with me the entire time, talking to me, comforting me, helping me focus on other things like my breathing and never loosing contact with my eyes because she believed in me. And because she believed in me I was able to believe in myself.

She left me for only a moment so she could receive the medication that would bring relief and sleep. She stayed to watch the medication take effect. She waited for my ‘drug induced’ grin and for me to fall off to a peaceful sleep.

I couldn't have made it through that difficult time without Julie's help. These kind of experiences with people like my families, my friends, the doctors, the nurses, and techs who continually showed such love and support, and the affirmation to 'believe' really have helped me to be a stronger person. Thank you.


Bryner Family said...

Wow, what an ordeal you've been through. It makes me want to cry to think about you being in that much pain. I'm so glad things are on the upswing now and I'm glad you found something wonderful in something so awful. Always good at finding the silver lining, aren't you? :)

Marla said...

That's awesome, thank God for people like her. I have no doubt you were the kind of patient doctors and nurses dream of; positive, sweet and best of all, a FIGHTER!

We're still praying for you Courtney, I hope you are getting stronger and feeling better each day! Take care!

Anonymous said...

Your words bring memories flooding back to my head and tears to flooding from my eyes.

May healing continue to take place, in your body and your heart.


Denise said...

Thank goodness for nurses like Julie.

Courtney you have come so far; it seems the hardest part is behind you. Don't ever stop believing. :-)

You're amazing!

Anonymous said...

Angels are among us :) Believe that you are now an angel to help someone else who is struggling.
Rhonda, WI

Gina said...

It is heart warming to hear about Julie. It's people like her that keep the world going round.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Denise T. said...

Well, I'm finally going to say hello. I happened on to your blog very early on in your fight (can't even remember how)... For some reason,(i think it was because I have 4 children of my own) my heart immediately broke and I began lifting you and your family up in prayer. Sometimes it would bother me at how often you would come to mind but I would just say a little prayer and go on with my day. Tonight, I have just returned from an evening at Relay for Life in my hometown and I just wanted to let you know that tonight I lifted you up in prayer. May you continue to grow stronger every day!! I'm sure you are a wonderful wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and I just wanted to encourage you today to be strong and keep fighting the fight!! One of these days we will no longer have to battle these diseases.

From one Mom to another!!

God Bless You!

Denise T in Missouri

meredith said...

It is those special people like Julie that helps us through difficult times. When I was going through chemo for breast cancer ( I was 25), my sister-in-law made my family and I buttons that said " Just keep swimming" from the Disney movie Nemo. This button and the support from my family is what got me through my chemo.

Meredith Cobb
- Friend of Elena Tillman-

Barb Flynn said...

I don't respond often as I know you are exhausted and need time with the kids and Todd, and you have so much to read.
Please know you have continued to be in our prayers and at our family gatherings here in Nebraska we talk about your progress, and your difficult times and wish we could physically be there. You are in our prayers daily, and we love you all!! You are a fighter and hope we can transfer our strength to you through God and angels.
Love you
Barb Flynn and our crew here in NE

Kristy said...

What an amazing story. Gave me chills through and through! I love people like that who help you through your toughest times. I am so proud of your strength!


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